MLS uniform review - 2008 season

After the collapse of the North American Soccer League, there was a long drought of pro soccer in the US. We have always had pretty good college sports including soccer; occasionally a few Americans would get noticed by international scouts and play abroad. There were also a few army-brat or half-American kids that grew up in more soccer-friendly environments. After the 1994 World Cup the seeds for the MLS were sown, and in 1996 Top-Flight Professional Soccer was back in the United States. I hate to qualify ‘top flight’ but I feel obligated to say that lower-tier pro soccer has been around in the US since the mid 80’s. While the US does have the 1-0 victory over England in 1950, we all know professional soccer’s position in the United States falls, historically and financially, quite behind the National Football League, Major League baseball, the National Basketball Association, the National Hockey League, and Collegiate Football and Basketball.After the collapse of the North American Soccer League, there was a long drought of pro soccer in the US. We have always had pretty good college sports including soccer; occasionally a few Americans would get noticed by international scouts and play abroad. There were also a few army-brat or half-American kids that grew up in more soccer-friendly environments. After the 1994 World Cup the seeds for the MLS were sown, and in 1996 Top-Flight Professional Soccer was back in the United States. I hate to qualify ‘top flight’ but I feel obligated to say that lower-tier pro soccer has been around in the US since the mid 80’s. While the US does have the 1-0 victory over England in 1950, we all know professional soccer’s position in the United States falls, historically and financially, quite behind the National Football League, Major League baseball, the National Basketball Association, the National Hockey League, and Collegiate Football and Basketball.

Part of me wishes that soccer had a bigger draw in the US. If soccer had the talent scouts and developmental leagues of European clubs without the temptations of all of the other higher profile American sports I’m convinced we could dominate as a world force close to the Brazilians, Italians and Argentineans. We could become reviled on the same level as Americans are for using tons of energy, making crap movies, and of course the questionable decisions made by our various commanders in chief over the past few centuries.

There is another part of me that is glad for the MLS’s status as a second-tier international soccer league. It’s like knowing about a cool band before they get popular. For me, some of the MLS appeal is the certain level of mediocrity that some games contain. I imagine that our games are like lower tier football across the world. Sure, maybe it’s not the most flowing stuff. The league-allowed minimum salary is almost criminal (our fearless leader here at Albion Road has some choice opinions about that), but darn it, it’s OUR league and it’s OUR teams that are out there. There is a lot of talent and some pretty sweet plays that look just as nice as the big boys across the pond and way south of us. The MLS is slowly expanding. Seattle gets a team next season and then Philadelphia getting a team in a couple of seasons as well. As long as the MLS can keep their goals reasonable and realistic I think this league can stick around for a long time.

In my previous columns about La Liga, I did not really get into the sponsor logos, mainly because I had no clue what about 90% of them were about, and did not feel much desire to figure them out because I was scared and confused. With most of the MLS sponsors easy to track down, talk of sponsor logos will resume (when I feel like it).

Part One of this column will talk about the MLS West.

FC Dallas. There is always an interesting, invisible line between ‘cutting edge’ and ‘stupid.’ It’s nice that Dallas tried to be a little different with the horizontal stripes on their home and away uniforms, but HOLY CRAP do they look dumb. Red and white stripes, or blue and white on the away kits are not offensive at all—but that dumb bend in the stripes ruins what could be a perfectly nice jersey, like their home kit from last season. I even liked their cool away colors from 2007. If I was a Dallas fan and freakishly obsessed with my home team’s soccer uniforms I’d be praying that they come to their senses for the inevitable redesigned kit for 2009. With all that bickering out of the way, I do like the FC Dallas crest. Tasteful, and unapologetically Texan.

The Colorado Rapids have gone the way of Aston Villa and West Ham (and some others) by adapting their color combo of claret and blue. I’d link to the older kits, but they are just boring blue and black, I trust everyone will be able to sleep soundly without seeing them. Home kit is fine. I seem to be able to stomach maroon better with blue trim, as opposed to gold. Sky blue is the peanut butter to Maroons’ chocolate. I like the away unis as well.I like the collar and smooth look of the whole thing. Well executed.

Real Salt Lake. Recently I was talking to a friend who was questioning adapting the Spanish habit of starting the team with “Real” as in “Royal,” the crime is not really using a Spanish word per se, it’s the fact that it was done for a team in the historically lily white state of Utah. Seeing as how Utah’s NBA team is the “Jazz” it appears that misnomers run rampant. Dave Checketts, former NBA executive bought and named the team Real Salt Lake because he wanted to impart the spirit of Spanish powerhouse Real Madrid. According to Wikipedia, the team now has some sort of formal relationship with Real Madrid. What the Wiki page does not tell you is the relationship: to supplement their meager developmental player salaries in the MLS off-season, RSL players travel to Madrid and work as custodians in the Santiago Bernabéu stadium. Uniforms? Copied from the Spanish national team as well. Home Kit is cool enough. I like it, but that’s because I like the Spanish National team’s kits. Not so into the away kit because there is not much zing to it. The team crest, like many Spanish clubs, has a little crown. Xango, the sponsor, is another drink company (along with Red Bull). I have not tried them.

Chivas USA little brother to the beloved team Club Deportivo Guadalajara in Mexico. Up north in Los Angeles they just go by the nickname Chivas (goats) and slapped USA on the end. Apparently they were supposed to follow the practice of their parent club and have a roster comprised exclusively of Mexican and Mexican Americans but that did not work out. Chivas USA has the same well-known vertical red and white stripes of the Original team. The home kit is almost exactly the same as the away kit—only the sleeves are different. The crest is almost exactly the same as the Mexican version – except for the obvious lack of stars representing league titles, etc. . After harping on about Dallas’s silly bendy horizontal stripes I find the bending vertical stripes to not be quite as bad—they aren’t as bad as the main team’s kits.

The Los Angeles Galaxy. The debate goes on at Albion Road HQ as to whether or not Mr. Beckham’s arrival in the US is really going to help the MLS. It certainly has helped the Galaxy sell jerseys. I don’t have much of a reaction to the Galaxay’s uniforms. Neither dull nor great. The home kit is inoffensive, as is the away kit. Admit it: you’re almost surprised to see the uniform without Posh’s husband filling it out. White, dark blue, yellow—another one of these easy to throw together inoffensive kits. I like the crest too. It’s easy to get a matching pair of soccer cleats to match the kit as well.

The San Jose Earthquakes have returned to the MLS after the original team went to Houston. I’m glad for the soccer fans in San Jose, but I feel for the poor saps who have to wear these dull uniforms. The black home uniform is under whelming. The white road uniform is abysmal. When the Earthquakes play the Kansas City Wizards it represents a battle of the most insipid unis. Check out the team crest. The soccer ball is a sun? Is it a giant earthquake maker? Just lame.

Houston Dynamo. The recent top dogs of the MLS have one of the lamest uniforms. I am not averse to the color orange, but the Dynamo’s home kit looks like an orange creamsicle. Their away whites are even worse. Just ugly. The team crest is not terrible—since it minimizes the yucky light blue and orange combo. But really. Not a very nice uniform Houston—but then again this is the fine city that gave us this hideous Rockets uniform, and this baseball combo (which I do kind of like).

Kit Aesthetics is a column by Chris Ketcham about football kits - the good, the bad and the (very) ugly.